Perhaps I'm working too hard lately, but everything is either making me laugh hysterically or completely freak out (the first is much more enjoyable, by the way). Last night, I arrived home way past dark, and little Freida greeted me at my car. So I opened the door, gave her a few head pats, and turned back to gather up the mail and my work items from the passenger seat. I turned back around and next to me, where Freida had been, was my husband, crouched down and about 5 inches from my face. Now, I'm not sure if you've ever had a moment of pure terror or not, but it feels surreal. They say that moments before a car crash, as the vehicle is flipping through the air, a person can actually experience a sense of unbelievable calm right before death. This is what happened to me (minus the death part) as I turned and saw my husband. I stared right into his eyes for about 2 seconds with as much calm as you can imagine. And then I let out a scream of terror that could have sent Satan himself running. The realization that he wasn't an axe murderer out to kill me came after about a 10-second screaming/hyperventaliting fit, at which point we laughed profusely at the fact that my scared-face looks fairly ridiculous.
So tonight, I come home (prepared for weird men waiting for me at my car), and my husband and I get into a conversation about clients and some of their seriously violent behavior. My husband leaves the room, only to return minutes later to ask me what I want done with my body after I die. At this point, I feel pretty certain that he's planning to murder me and bury me somewhere on our 40 acre lot. The stint from the night before was all just part of his plan to freak me out, and now he's talking to me about death and my remains. If my picture shows up on the Missing Persons website, please start digging.
So tonight, I come home (prepared for weird men waiting for me at my car), and my husband and I get into a conversation about clients and some of their seriously violent behavior. My husband leaves the room, only to return minutes later to ask me what I want done with my body after I die. At this point, I feel pretty certain that he's planning to murder me and bury me somewhere on our 40 acre lot. The stint from the night before was all just part of his plan to freak me out, and now he's talking to me about death and my remains. If my picture shows up on the Missing Persons website, please start digging.
Oh my gosh....I can so see Pat's face and the expression as he did that to you. And yes I know that feeling of terror, the latest being last year when I hit the deer, I seen his face smash my windshield, heard him breaking glass wds and I keep driving calmly and in control to moments later, shaking terribly, screaming over and over again "oh dear Jesus, oh dear Jesus" and then after driving a ways down the road , calmly pulling over into a safe driveway to call your dad.....YES it's a weird horrifying experience. PS Pat, please don't harm my daughter, she's the only one I have, thank you.
ReplyDeleteAh don't worry Shiv.... I'm sure my hubby will dig ya up at some point if you are buried in the fields. :-P
ReplyDeletehaha, good point, Channa!
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