Battle Of The Gross

   I sometimes can't tell if my man is my Husband or my Fraternity Brother. On the one hand, we do many husband and wife things together... lovin', cuddlin', kissin', naggin', etc. On the other hand, we relate to each other like we're in a fraternity... he tells me when he's seen a pretty girl (sometimes it's me, which is my FAVORITE kind of story!), he calls me by my last name, and he makes me sniff his fingers after he's been digging in his belly button. It seems that lately we've been engaged in a Battle of the Gross (either that or we've just gotten so comfortable with each other that these things are now super funny). For instance, tonight we were sitting down to dinner. It was typical meal conversation. He, commenting on how I've neglected to sweep the floor; Me, commenting on how he decorated the counter with bread crumbs. He, telling me that one day I'll learn to be as good of a spouse as he is; Me, saying "Douche bag".
    I had just finished cleaning up the dishes (like a GOOD wife) and sat back at the table to write up some paperwork. I felt something rubbing on my shoulder and I turned my head in time to see my husband, drawers down, with his naked rear end swishing back and forth on my shoulder. Ok, seriously? Nothing says Frat Brother like a shoulder-to-cheek incident. I yelled. He laughed and clapped his hands like a toy monkey. My husband should've come with a tag that says "Not appropriate for adults: ages 8 and under". I think tonight, Frat Boy won the Battle of the Gross. Maybe tomorrow Husband will come out and play. And if not, I'll just have to beat him at his own grossness!