Beach Balls And Pumpkins

    Our Diet Wars at work was going so well.... this morning, my husband woke up and weighed himself, finding that he had lost 6 pounds. I then weighed myself and discovered that I had lost 4! I was so excited because this is only Day 5 and I'm loving to see the scale changing in my favor for once. So, I continued to eat well all day long and have actually been enjoying my vegetables (it's pure craziness, really!). However, I arrived home and felt suddenly exhausted beyond belief. I cooked dinner (venison taco meat with onion and diced tomatoes, wrapped in romain leaves) and then went upstairs to change into my pjs. My husband, noting my tiredness and slightly crabby (crappy) demeanor, decided that it would be best if I just laid down and he left me alone (good call).
    But this was before he told me that my butt looked like a beach ball and my stomach looked like a pumpkin. I'm not even joking. When my face began to crumble, he said, "No, your butt isn't big like a beach ball, your underwear just makes it look that way!" I'm pretty sure I didn't wear padded panties today (or ever) so not sure how my undies created this "beach ball" effect. Then he told me that my belly looked like a pumpkin, ya know, because I'm "bloated and all". When I responded with, "Gee, thanks," he said, "Well not your belly, just your body... like all over is bloated." Allow me to help you reach your foot to your mouth, dear. Glad to know my -4 pounds is giving me a lighter, yet puffier look. I think it's time I take my Shamoo nametag and retire for the rest of the night. Alone!