My husband has always had this amazing way of doing dangerous things without getting injured. I say that this is amazing, because I lack this skill entirely. So I can safey say that I stand in awe at his ability to go day by day unharmed. Not only am I incapable of doing dangerous activities, but I can't seem to make it through my daily routine safely (and trust me, I live a very SAFE existence!). Let's take yesterday for example. We were expecting company for dinner, so I spent the day cleaning and preparing food, not even having to leave the house for anything. I didn't use any overly harsh chemicals and my encounters with sharp objects were minimal. How then, you may ask, did I manage to give myself 3 injuries? Simply put, I am Me. And "Me" manages to find harm in the most unlikely of places.
Injury #1 occured when I bent over. Yes, that's right, a simple bend at the waist (not holding anything heavy) was enough to re-tweak my old back injury. Therefore, scrubbing the tub was enough to bring me to tears. Injury #2 took place in the kitchen when I used an oven mitt (with a strategically placed hole in it) to take a tray of egg rolls out of the oven, burning a blister into the space between my thumb and forefinger. (And I was being so careful to use the mitt that covered my entire hand... I had already learned the hard way that the ones that don't cover all your skin allow you to burn the top of your hand on the rack above when you reach into the oven!). And finally, Injury #3 happened in the bedroom (and no, it wasn't THAT kind of injury). I was, like any good hostess, trying to make the house smell cozy and delicious, so I had lit a tart burner upstairs (NOT EVEN AN OPEN FLAME!). Unfortunately, I may have knocked said tart burner and spilled hot wax all over my hand. And yes, it was the same hand that I had burned 10 minutes prior while in the kitchen. My husband looks at me with such amazement... not because I carry the outstanding ability to do dangerous tasks without getting hurt, but because I'm a complete and utter disaster 7 days a week.
Injury #1 occured when I bent over. Yes, that's right, a simple bend at the waist (not holding anything heavy) was enough to re-tweak my old back injury. Therefore, scrubbing the tub was enough to bring me to tears. Injury #2 took place in the kitchen when I used an oven mitt (with a strategically placed hole in it) to take a tray of egg rolls out of the oven, burning a blister into the space between my thumb and forefinger. (And I was being so careful to use the mitt that covered my entire hand... I had already learned the hard way that the ones that don't cover all your skin allow you to burn the top of your hand on the rack above when you reach into the oven!). And finally, Injury #3 happened in the bedroom (and no, it wasn't THAT kind of injury). I was, like any good hostess, trying to make the house smell cozy and delicious, so I had lit a tart burner upstairs (NOT EVEN AN OPEN FLAME!). Unfortunately, I may have knocked said tart burner and spilled hot wax all over my hand. And yes, it was the same hand that I had burned 10 minutes prior while in the kitchen. My husband looks at me with such amazement... not because I carry the outstanding ability to do dangerous tasks without getting hurt, but because I'm a complete and utter disaster 7 days a week.
I would just like to add that immediately following this post, I cut my finger open trying to open a dvd case. I cut myself with CARDBOARD.
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